Saturday, February 12, 2011

"Ch...Ch...Ch...Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes" - David Bowie

Life is about, if nothing else, changes. Just when you get comfortable, life comes along and throws you a curve ball. Seldom, have I ever been able to plan out everything to the point where it goes off without a hitch. That's just the way it is. As you get older, you realize certain things. Some are great and some, not-so-much.

Well, when I quit my job and became a SAHD (stay-at-home-dad), my life changed. As I said recently, it took just over a year to adjust to the change. My outlook needed rebuilding, my understanding of expectations needed retooling and my concept of my role in the family needed tweaking. My wife challenged me the other day about my outlook on life. Now granted, she said that while I was holding an ice pack over my post-op regions, so I really couldn't, nor felt much like disagreeing with her just then. However, I am hopeful that once I get healed up, I will be much more fun to be around.

This got me thinking about how people deal with change. My old boss, for instance, had some changes to deal with also in the last couple of years. He had to adjust not having me at work. Okay, so maybe that wasn't a big change for him. But his wife changed her role at her work and found herself at home a lot more. I recently visited my old work to catch up a little and began to think about him for some reason.

I wonder if he thinks his wife is all that great now, because she's no longer a high rolling administrative type, suit wearing boss. Now that she is more of a worker bee, does he find her as attractive? She's home a lot more, so I wonder if he finds her a little more "needy" of his affection. I wonder how their dynamic has changed over the last year or so, since her job change.

I know at first there is a little honeymoon period as there becomes an abundance of free time. It can be intoxicating at first, but then, it slowly, and without any notice, becomes a rope around your neck. Tightening it's grip, suffocating your inspiration and enthusiasm.

You see, I'm convinced that inactivity breeds discontent and apathy for you and by those around you. If you happen to be well grounded in your beliefs and have strong feelings for your family, then it may not be as disagreeable or challenging, or at least, it may take a little bit longer before it starts to erode your relationships. But, if you allow the outcomes of the new situation to dictate your actions or feelings, then you've got some trouble-a-brewin'.

I feel blessed, in that our faith in our Lord helps us through these times. It grounds us a little bit each day, keeping us from getting caught up in the roller-coaster emotional ride that accompanies severe change. I hope my former boss and his wife can find that peace. I hope they can sort out their new feelings and situational outcomes based on something bigger than themselves. Something that can see them through any challenge or any situation where they say to each other, "You're not fun anymore" or "You've changed and I don't like the new you". Otherwise, the seeds of discontent will grow in the robust fertilizer of this world.

Again, not sure why I'm blogging about my old boss, other than it just seemed like the thing to do. Since our change, I'm noticing that I've developed a keener interest in other people's lives and how they cope. I'm always curious to see how other people handle challenges. It keeps me sharp and helps me to look at myself. Helps me to make sure I'm not making similar mistakes. And makes me a little more willing to step out on that limb and help them, if I sense they're struggling. So until next time remember...

Life is like making chili. If you don't add a little spice and a little heat, you're just going to be eating raw meat - which will make everyone sick.

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