We've had a lot of remodeling around the house. Our kitchen is finally almost done. Just have a little wall texture and painting to do. It looks great though. Almost makes us not want to move. But then we go outside and it's 90 degrees in March and we say, "Oh yeah, we're ready to get out of here". I feel bad because I haven't been able to help around the house with projects. My nerve pain just gets too intense. So I guess everyone knows now, my nerve pain is still with me.
I've decided to start an online journal for my post-reversal pain. It's a little too graphic for people I personally know to read, but it helps me keep track of my symptoms and gives me an outlet for my frustration. The online forum has also been helpful. They have really reached out and seem to genuinely care about my situation. Funny, but I find myself caring about theirs too. Quite a unique bond we have.
My son and I just returned from a church camp out. It was on somebody's farm so it wasn't like a real camp out. I thought it might be an opportunity to hook up with some of the men at church. With all we've had in our lives the last couple of years, I haven't really bonded with any men at church. But this weekend was not about church, per se for me and my son. Rather, it was just about me spending time with my boy. I have to say, from that standpoint, it was great. I got to see him catch a 19 inch bass out of the stock pond. Then he went on to catch about 5-6 more fish over the weekend. That was exciting for me to see. He handled it like a real pro.
I thought we were going to eat the 19 incher, but the proprietor never cooked it up for us. I hope they remembered to take it off the stringer. It was interesting to see my kid in an environment like this. He was basically free to be a crazy 9-year old around a bunch of other crazy 7-11 year olds. I was struck by some of the similarities and some of the very stark differences between the other kids and mine.
First of all, it struck me that my son is his own person. He doesn't really cowtow to anyone. Oh sure, he wants to be accepted, so he will unwittingly do stuff for unscrupulous kids and be snickered at by them. But overall, he has some interesting leadership qualities. It's like when he decides not to do something because he knows it's wrong, the other kids will follow his example. I think that's great and says a lot about his young character. Even when the older kids are snickering at him, he doesn't really care. He just plays along and then moves on to something else that doesn't involve the older kids. He's very mature I think, despite being so childish. But his childishness is more from a sense of being naive' rather then an outlook he has on life.
He still enjoys being a kid and that was great to see. We've taught them to be in no hurry about growing up and he seems to have taken that to heart. He still likes to play with his little sister. He still likes to put on a Superman cape and "fly" around the house as if he's about to rescue someone. But he also likes to read his Bible and he completes his homework by himself, with very little direction from me.
This little weekend trip the two of us went on was a refreshing look into what makes my boy who he is. It reminded me that he's still a kid, despite his mature outlook and conversation skills. That was important for me to see. I just hope he saw a dad who loves him very much and enjoys doing stuff with him, despite my little aches and pains.